tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448923829035514.post1538920849857652392..comments2023-05-06T12:00:35.265-04:00Comments on Your View of My World: I Can be Me!Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10725564958427342192noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448923829035514.post-61673453482870112902010-09-12T07:09:42.429-04:002010-09-12T07:09:42.429-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.-Jeff-https://www.blogger.com/profile/11610841624467712060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6313448923829035514.post-63051989097601462862010-09-12T07:09:03.988-04:002010-09-12T07:09:03.988-04:00I'll never understand the "normal" p...I'll never understand the "normal" process of love & marriage. Most people meet someone and fall in love for that person's personality; funloving, outgoing, exciting, spontaneous, [insert your favorite trait here]. But then once the relationship turns serious and/or domestic, they expect that person to change. I'll never understand that.<br /><br />Your partner should be able to detect, on their own, a need to spend part of their free time taking care of the house. They should WANT to spend a large part of their social time with you, but should never have to be forced to. You should encourage and be genuinely excited for your partners interests, acheivements, and social interactions, even if they don't directly involve you.<br />Love means to love, not to restrict, own, control. Those actions are self-serving in the interest of theorhetically protecting your involvement with this person. But if you really love them, wouldn't you want them to experience everything possible? Even if that day's "experience" is beers with the boys? Nagging them to stay in and sit on the couch with you is self-serving and will ultimately cause your partner to think about what they're missing. I hope Kel never misses a thing in life. At the end, she'll still be my best friend, and she'll still love me.<br /><br />In 20 years, Kelly will be my best friend. There is no one I am more loyal to, and know I have the same in return. Regardless of the ups & downs life sends our way, the friends we entertain, or the bad ideas we try. Love is not fitting into a mold. Love is sincerely wanting to experience someone the way they otherwise would be. One's patner should be free to do as they desire. The worst thing I could ever hear Kelly say would be "I would have liked to try/do _____, but I got married". My involvement should be an addition, not a subtraction. Likewise, I'm psyched Kelly loves me for me. I never decide that I'd like to do something and then think "oh, but Kel would never let that happen." She fell in love with me, in part, for my desire to experience everything I want to. Fortunately, she still loves me for that. <br /><br />The traditional marriage has fallen into a trap that ultimately makes partners into roommates. Its no wonder people fall out of love and divorce so commonly. <br /><br />We may have views on some things a bit more casual than most. But I certainly don't think that it makes us anything but closer. Anytime we do those things that make us ourselves, it seems we grow that much tighter because of the appreciated freedoms and genuine love for who we really are, not for who we're suppossed to be.-Jeff-https://www.blogger.com/profile/11610841624467712060noreply@blogger.com