Tuesday, October 5, 2010

A Lesson Learned

This morning I am blogging because I was taught a lesson. I woke up to a note that was to myself and from my conscience, and got a little angry about it, then I realized that I had spent 12+ hours out of my house working, and running children all around, and then came home to eat, and had a paper due, so had no choice but to get right to homework. At 10:30 I made Jeff's lunch for work, and his coffee so that he could have some coffee when he got up, and on his way out the door. I then went to bed at 11 to get up 4an so that I could work out before going to work, a volleyball game, a soccer game, and coming home to do more homework, cause we all know that going to school means every night I have school work as well. Needless to say I want to quite, I want it done, I want to have a normal life, and I want to be able to keep my house spotless, and have quality time with my kids, and I would love to spend some couch time, and go out for a night with my husband, but it just ain't gonna happen. I went from a husband home working all day to having a husband that I see maybe 1 hour a day, and that is on a good day ( oh I HATE this by the way). Then as I was running around stressing out, and cleaning the house this morning, so that all would be well I thought of a few things.
1. My dad has cancer, and I have seen him twice in four weeks
2. I would leave Zack with his soccer coach and run errands, but he his an arrogant asshole, and so I do not trust him to do anything but degrade my child, so I will pass on that one.
3.My house is picked up, and when I asked the kids to help, one did. one didn't, and one was getting ready for school, but it is done, and now time for work ( with a smile on my face)
WAIT!!! Where are my keys, (phone ringing) "Mom I put your keys in my pocket, and forgot to take them out so I have them at school" Zack says.
This is when it hit me, okay you know what we need to slow down. Not only am I stressed beyond stress, but my kids are moving so fast they have no idea that they have my keys. So that's it, I will clean things up as I go, but I will forget, its me, I will go to work, school, cook, clean on weekends, do laundry, and take care of the kids, and all they do, but I may forget things, it is not the end of the world, and it easier to smile, and not be so sad all the time. I will go see my dad once a week, and without my children I deserve that, and I will take 2 nights a week with no school, none, I will not even log on. I am determine not to tell my kids that they can not play sports, because I have school, I know it is weird sounding , but they should not loose out because I chose to not go to school right after high school, and that is not their issue, I will just sit at practice/games/dance and do school work, and I will have them help out around the house, but I am bound and determined that I WILL NOT STRESS anymore, it is not worth it life is too short, and I want to enjoy it, not dislike it.
(on a side note, Jozie has an interest in photography so I took her out to go take pictures with me, and she took the one in this post!)

1 comment:

  1. Kelly,

    The blog was great! Good for you. My Mom used to say "Don't worry about the housework, it will always be there". I never understood that. I so appreciate that you can look at things in that way as I was never able to do that when you kids were small, or at any time, actually.
    Jozie did a great job on the picture too!