This morning I am blogging because I was taught a lesson. I woke up to a note that was to myself and from my conscience, and got a little angry about it, then I realized that I had spent 12+ hours out of my house working, and running children all around, and then came home to eat, and had a paper due, so had no choice but to get right to homework. At 10:30 I made Jeff's lunch for work, and his coffee so that he could have some coffee when he got up, and on his way out the door. I then went to bed at 11 to get up 4an so that I could work out before going to work, a volleyball game, a soccer game, and coming home to do more homework, cause we all know that going to school means every night I have school work as well. Needless to say I want to quite, I want it done, I want to have a normal life, and I want to be able to keep my house spotless, and have quality time with my kids, and I would love to spend some couch time, and go out for a night with my husband, but it just ain't gonna happen. I went from a husband home working all day to having a husband that I see maybe 1 hour a day, and that is on a good day ( oh I HATE this by the way). Then as I was running around stressing out, and cleaning the house this morning, so that all would be well I thought of a few things.
1. My dad has cancer, and I have seen him twice in four weeks
2. I would leave Zack with his soccer coach and run errands, but he his an arrogant asshole, and so I do not trust him to do anything but degrade my child, so I will pass on that one.
3.My house is picked up, and when I asked the kids to help, one did. one didn't, and one was getting ready for school, but it is done, and now time for work ( with a smile on my face)
WAIT!!! Where are my keys, (phone ringing) "Mom I put your keys in my pocket, and forgot to take them out so I have them at school" Zack says.
This is when it hit me, okay you know what we need to slow down. Not only am I stressed beyond stress, but my kids are moving so fast they have no idea that they have my keys. So that's it, I will clean things up as I go, but I will forget, its me, I will go to work, school, cook, clean on weekends, do laundry, and take care of the kids, and all they do, but I may forget things, it is not the end of the world, and it easier to smile, and not be so sad all the time. I will go see my dad once a week, and without my children I deserve that, and I will take 2 nights a week with no school, none, I will not even log on. I am determine not to tell my kids that they can not play sports, because I have school, I know it is weird sounding , but they should not loose out because I chose to not go to school right after high school, and that is not their issue, I will just sit at practice/games/dance and do school work, and I will have them help out around the house, but I am bound and determined that I WILL NOT STRESS anymore, it is not worth it life is too short, and I want to enjoy it, not dislike it.
(on a side note, Jozie has an interest in photography so I took her out to go take pictures with me, and she took the one in this post!)
Kelly,
ReplyDeleteThe blog was great! Good for you. My Mom used to say "Don't worry about the housework, it will always be there". I never understood that. I so appreciate that you can look at things in that way as I was never able to do that when you kids were small, or at any time, actually.
Jozie did a great job on the picture too!